From joeha@microsoft.com Fri Mar 25 17:55 PST 1994 Return-Path: Received: from blaze.csci.csusb.edu by silicon.csci.csusb.edu (5.0/SMI-SVR4) id AA23594; Fri, 25 Mar 94 17:55:39 PST Received: from netmail2.microsoft.com by blaze.csci.csusb.edu (AIX 3.2/UCB 5.64/4.03) id AA36040; Fri, 25 Mar 1994 17:27:36 -0800 Received: by netmail2.microsoft.com (5.65/25-eef) id AA04509; Fri, 25 Mar 94 17:51:27 -0800 Received: by netmail2 using fxenixd 1.0 Fri, 25 Mar 94 17:51:27 PST From: joeha@microsoft.com Message-Id: <9403260151.AA04509@netmail2.microsoft.com> X-Msmail-Message-Id: 91448DDB X-Msmail-Conversation-Id: 91448DDB To: joeha@microsoft.com Date: Fri, 25 Mar 94 17:39:43 PST Subject: WhiteBoard News Content-Type: text Content-Length: 4206 Status: R WhiteBoard News for March 25, 1994 This item comes from Peter Henriksen: El Paso, Texas: Sassy, the 2-ton elephant, queen of the Spalding Brothers Tent Circus, suffered a bout with gas that nearly killed her trainer, and blasted several holes in the striped tent where she was practicing her prancing. Now dubbed Sassy the Gassy Pachyderm, the 14-year-old beast snorted approximately 15 gallons of red-hot Tex-Mex chili cooking outside the tent for a Rotary fund raiser. Sassy developed a taste for chili as a mere 500-pound babe when she lived with a herd of cows near El Paso, Texas. The rancher held regular cook-outs, and let Sassy lick the Chili pot after the guests had gone. "The hotter the better," recalls rancher Antonio Guayabera. "She'd poke her little fuzzy trunk in there and slurp 'til it was clean as a whistle. "I'd notice the next day, though, the cows would stick to one end of the field and Sassy would be all by herself at the other. "I always thought someone was burning garbage, but I finally realized it was Sassy and cut off her bean supply. It was making the cows' milk sour." Antonio, who got the baby elephant as a gag gift from an oilman friend of his, sold Sassy to the circus and trainer Fritz Hildebrand made her queen of the center ring. "I discovered the first month I had Sassy that she loved chili, but it didn't love her," says Fritz. "We had to keep the roustabouts with their open cook- stoves away, because she would smell those beans simmering and start hooting and hollering to get it. "We only let her have her way once," Fritz says, shaking his head. "We had to walk her a mile away and leave her penned there a whole day." Human memories dim, but elephants never forget, and with chili pots bubbling it was just a matter of time before Sassy slipped her trunk through a hole in the tent and started gobbling. "I knew I had to get her out of there - and fast," says Fritz from his hospital bed. "But I wasn't fast enough. As I led her away, the gas attack started. I should have known better than to stand too close, but the first blast blew me right through the tent and into a trailer parked outside." Fritz suffered 15 broken bones, including one arm, one leg, his collarbone, several ribs and fingers. Subsequent blasts ripped through the big top before Sassy was banished to a distant field. "I know she feels bad," concludes the forgiving trainer. "Sassy's a chiliholic, and she just can't help herself." ========== London, England: A British mother of three was crowned the winner Thursday of the world's first 24-hour novel-writing contest for her on-the-spot manuscript about a gruesome murder in a suburban London church. Maggie Hamand, 40, competed against 29 other aspiring scribes who pitted word processors against writer's block in a contest held 10 days ago in a London literary club. "This is my 15 minutes of fame, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it," Hamand said. ========== "Al Gore is so boring his Secret Service code name is 'Al Gore.'" Vice President Al Gore at the Gridiron dinner. ========== Spokane, Washington: A man who ignited, then chewed a $100 bill after a cabby told him it looked suspicious has been arraigned on one counterfeiting charge and could face others after a federal grand jury looks at the case. Karl Valentin Beaty of Spokane had 95 bogus $100 bills on him when he was arrested January 18 after the altercation with a cabby. Police who arrested Beaty found 95 color photocopies of $100 notes on him. ========== Spring break. Long, lazy days off. The perfect time to contemplate your next vacation. So why be normal? There are enough obscure and bizarre events to keep your busy whenever you take time off. Here are the most unusual annual events coming soon: Minnesota Cherry Pit-Spitting Contest, in Mankato, Minnesota. International Leisure Suit Convention, Des Moines, Iowa. World Championship Cow Chip-Throwing Contest, Beaver, Oklahoma. National Hollerin' Contest, Spivey's Corner, North Carolina. ========== Chow SuperChef WhiteBoard News Service Bureau Chef To subscribe please email: JoeHa (Joseph Harper) joeha@microsoft.com microsoft!joeha@uunet.uu.net